I have always wondered what the apostles were thinking after the death of Jesus. The waiting, the questioning if he would return, the anxiety of dying next, or maybe trying to decide their next move. I can only imagine that it was an uncomfortable feeling all around.
I have recently found myself feeling the same way about life. This year in China is not going like I thought it would. I feel really disconnected from my new students because of their lack of English (probably the worst ever), for some reason I am missing home more then at any point before, and trails continue to hit me and those around me. I feel like I am in limbo between the past and what is to come. Don't get me wrong, I feel great about life. I have been exercising, I am pretty content with most things, and I have been learning more Chinese then ever before. However my Direction is off. I am not sure what all it takes to get back on track but I pray that it happens soon. I write this with the hopes of connecting with many other people who have felt the same way or feel this way now. I trust the limbo feeling will pass in time but until then I ask that you all remember me.
How Did I Not Know You Had Written a Book?
1 year ago
Good post, I don't know what to post cuz you know I feel kinda the same way. :)
ReplyDeleteKevin, I just want to let you know that Rebecca and I think about you every day. We need to skype again soon.
ReplyDeleteKevin, it sounds like the poor English of your students is slowing/thwarting the progress you had hoped to experience this semester. Your expectations may have been too high in light of moving to a new school. You had no way of knowing how good their language skills would be when compared to the students you had last year. This is always a risk attached to education--a teacher never knows the skill-level of next year's class unless moving up with last year's group. Since you had learned so much you believed you could "hit the ground running," but you have encountered an unanticipated variable.
ReplyDeleteRather than comparing this class to your former class, assess their needs and do your best to address those. You will earn the right to speak into their lives because you serve them.
All of this is highlighting the necessity and challenge of language acquisition. You are learning more Chinese because your work demands it. While your students have so far to go, you can help them so much more. Keep expecting good things to come. Keep doing your best.
All of these differences are probably contributing to you missing home more. Draw on your experiences and his promises and you will make it through. There will be good things on the other side of this.